Slacking & Strange Men
Sorry I've been slacking at my entries lately. I've actually been quite busy lately. Somewhat due to work, somewhat due to trying not to drown in the overwhelmingness of debt, and somewhat due to actually making time to visit with people I enjoy.
As for the strange men comment, I'm here asking for comments. I believe common sense is giving me a red flag, but just thought I'd throw this out to others to see what you think.
I was at work a couple of weeks ago and a customer decided he wanted to flirt with me. I could be stereotyping, but I could tell he was a New Yorker, and not just by the accent. He had this forward and slightly aggressive, but not in a creepy way, moxy about him.
When he first approached me, he seemed as if he was prepping to negotiate a deal. He wanted to know if he and his two friends could have some extra samples. It was the end of the night, and I was closing up shop, so I could care less and told him yes. After he and his friends wandered around the store, he would keep coming back to me to talk and flirt with me. At one point in time he kissed my hand.
My response:
I already told you that you and your friends could have the samples, there's no need to keep buttering me up.
But he continued to talk to me and tell me how it wasn't about the candy anymore he was interested in me, and how he could sense I was a good person, and something about my ability to make eye contact and smile. (This part to be continued later)
By the end of the night, I decided I would give him my home number. The last couple of first dates turned me off from dating for awhile. But I figured it's about time I started again, and he intrigued me. I thought he seemed sweet and interesting enough to give him a chance outside of my workplace. The only thing that was a red flag then was the Fever Pitch-ness about him. I figured he must have more to him since he still seemed interested after I told him I didn't follow the NBA, and he didn't act like someone who just wanted to get in my pants. Don't get me wrong, I do realize that is a goal, but he actually seemed interested in me as well.
Man Stats:
That night he let me know he would call me when he left so I could have his number on my phone. This was on a Wednesday night. I closed the shop the next two nights, so I didn't check my messages until Saturday morning. By then he had called twice.
I spoke to him for a briefly right before I left town for the weekend. It just so happens that a guy was interested in me right when I was too busy to see anyone for almost 2 weeks.
I know this has been a long set up, but now we are getting to the parts that concerned me.
Things that concerned me with our first phone conversation (not in any specific order):
1) He seemed pouty that I waited two days to call him.
2) He also seemed butt hurt that I wouldn't give him my cell number.
3) After I told him I wouldn't give him my cell number, later in the conversation he told me to program his number into my cell and call him if I had a chance while out of town over the weekend. (This made me wonder if he saw blonde roots or something? Is he for real, what part of not giving you my cell says I'm going to call you from it?)
4) He actually talked about the possibility of us ever getting married, and if I ever married him things would be like... yada yada yada.
5) He wanted my email address so he could send me some modeling photos of himself. He really wanted me to look at them before I went away for the weekend, but since I left about 10 minutes after our conversation, I got to the pics by Tuesday-ish.
6) He kept mentioning the connection between us and my eye contact and smile. (By then I made the smart ass comment that maybe I was just good at my job, customer service and hospitality are part of it. Wouldn't you think eye contact and smiling could be quality traits in that area. He went quiet).
7*) His feeling to discuss an NBA team with me like I cared, when I could have sworn I let him know I wasn't a big fan of the NBA general, let alone that team.
* When I met him, he had just gone to an NBA game, and his team won. I got the impression from this guy that he could be like Jimmy Fallon's character in Fever Pitch, but for a NBA team, not the Red Sox.
The first phone call made him sound a little needy. The man sounded like he was going to explode or something if he had to wait two weeks before we could have a real evening date, and coming to my work for lunch didn't seem like that great of an option. I mean, I realize some women could find it sweet that a guy showed her that much attention, I wasn't quite feeling that from him.
THEN, I got the email. *dramatic pause* Two out of the four pictures he sent me were underwear shots! I haven't even gone on a date with the man, I had only met him once, had one phone call with him, and he sent me modeling shots of him wearing nothing but briefs (one shot in black and white, one shot in color)! [Random side note: It's really hard to be good and not post those pictures on here to show you what I'm talking about.]
He had a nice bod, but still... Does this seem odd to anyone else? That's when I began to feel mixed signals. The guy always talked about connection, personality, real long lasting relationships, but those pictures made me think that maybe he was trying to go for something else.
Anyone else want to chime in on this?
I have talked to him one other time since the email. I have not gone out on the first date yet. I'm trying to hold out and give him a chance in person, but now I'm getting the strong impression that maybe I shouldn't even bother.
Concerns with conversation two:
1) He was trying to make me feel guilty for not calling him for days and that I still hadn't seen him.
2) He asked me if he had earned the right to have my cell number, I told him no. Later on he asked me to send him a text message while I was out of town again. (Yes, I was such a happening chick, I was out of town two weekends in a row purely for fun.)
In the end, I don't get out much in the dating world. I'm going with my instincts on this one, but just for group discussion, doesn't this guy sound a bit off?
I'm sure he's a great guy and could make some girl very happy, I'm just not getting the vibe anymore that I will be that girl.
Lesson Learned: Really think and rethink giving a customer your phone number when at work.
Sorry I've been slacking at my entries lately. I've actually been quite busy lately. Somewhat due to work, somewhat due to trying not to drown in the overwhelmingness of debt, and somewhat due to actually making time to visit with people I enjoy.
As for the strange men comment, I'm here asking for comments. I believe common sense is giving me a red flag, but just thought I'd throw this out to others to see what you think.
I was at work a couple of weeks ago and a customer decided he wanted to flirt with me. I could be stereotyping, but I could tell he was a New Yorker, and not just by the accent. He had this forward and slightly aggressive, but not in a creepy way, moxy about him.
When he first approached me, he seemed as if he was prepping to negotiate a deal. He wanted to know if he and his two friends could have some extra samples. It was the end of the night, and I was closing up shop, so I could care less and told him yes. After he and his friends wandered around the store, he would keep coming back to me to talk and flirt with me. At one point in time he kissed my hand.
My response:
I already told you that you and your friends could have the samples, there's no need to keep buttering me up.
But he continued to talk to me and tell me how it wasn't about the candy anymore he was interested in me, and how he could sense I was a good person, and something about my ability to make eye contact and smile. (This part to be continued later)
By the end of the night, I decided I would give him my home number. The last couple of first dates turned me off from dating for awhile. But I figured it's about time I started again, and he intrigued me. I thought he seemed sweet and interesting enough to give him a chance outside of my workplace. The only thing that was a red flag then was the Fever Pitch-ness about him. I figured he must have more to him since he still seemed interested after I told him I didn't follow the NBA, and he didn't act like someone who just wanted to get in my pants. Don't get me wrong, I do realize that is a goal, but he actually seemed interested in me as well.
Man Stats:
- in his 30s,
- a personal trainer, and
- apparently does some modeling. I figured his modeling must be associated to his body that was hiding under a giant basketball jersey when I met him, because his face seemed....ok.... Not bad, not oh my god, I'm going to cream myself looking at your face.
- NBA team fan, potentially to a "Fever Pitch" point.
That night he let me know he would call me when he left so I could have his number on my phone. This was on a Wednesday night. I closed the shop the next two nights, so I didn't check my messages until Saturday morning. By then he had called twice.
I spoke to him for a briefly right before I left town for the weekend. It just so happens that a guy was interested in me right when I was too busy to see anyone for almost 2 weeks.
I know this has been a long set up, but now we are getting to the parts that concerned me.
Things that concerned me with our first phone conversation (not in any specific order):
1) He seemed pouty that I waited two days to call him.
2) He also seemed butt hurt that I wouldn't give him my cell number.
3) After I told him I wouldn't give him my cell number, later in the conversation he told me to program his number into my cell and call him if I had a chance while out of town over the weekend. (This made me wonder if he saw blonde roots or something? Is he for real, what part of not giving you my cell says I'm going to call you from it?)
4) He actually talked about the possibility of us ever getting married, and if I ever married him things would be like... yada yada yada.
5) He wanted my email address so he could send me some modeling photos of himself. He really wanted me to look at them before I went away for the weekend, but since I left about 10 minutes after our conversation, I got to the pics by Tuesday-ish.
6) He kept mentioning the connection between us and my eye contact and smile. (By then I made the smart ass comment that maybe I was just good at my job, customer service and hospitality are part of it. Wouldn't you think eye contact and smiling could be quality traits in that area. He went quiet).
7*) His feeling to discuss an NBA team with me like I cared, when I could have sworn I let him know I wasn't a big fan of the NBA general, let alone that team.
* When I met him, he had just gone to an NBA game, and his team won. I got the impression from this guy that he could be like Jimmy Fallon's character in Fever Pitch, but for a NBA team, not the Red Sox.
The first phone call made him sound a little needy. The man sounded like he was going to explode or something if he had to wait two weeks before we could have a real evening date, and coming to my work for lunch didn't seem like that great of an option. I mean, I realize some women could find it sweet that a guy showed her that much attention, I wasn't quite feeling that from him.
THEN, I got the email. *dramatic pause* Two out of the four pictures he sent me were underwear shots! I haven't even gone on a date with the man, I had only met him once, had one phone call with him, and he sent me modeling shots of him wearing nothing but briefs (one shot in black and white, one shot in color)! [Random side note: It's really hard to be good and not post those pictures on here to show you what I'm talking about.]
He had a nice bod, but still... Does this seem odd to anyone else? That's when I began to feel mixed signals. The guy always talked about connection, personality, real long lasting relationships, but those pictures made me think that maybe he was trying to go for something else.
Anyone else want to chime in on this?
I have talked to him one other time since the email. I have not gone out on the first date yet. I'm trying to hold out and give him a chance in person, but now I'm getting the strong impression that maybe I shouldn't even bother.
Concerns with conversation two:
1) He was trying to make me feel guilty for not calling him for days and that I still hadn't seen him.
2) He asked me if he had earned the right to have my cell number, I told him no. Later on he asked me to send him a text message while I was out of town again. (Yes, I was such a happening chick, I was out of town two weekends in a row purely for fun.)
In the end, I don't get out much in the dating world. I'm going with my instincts on this one, but just for group discussion, doesn't this guy sound a bit off?
I'm sure he's a great guy and could make some girl very happy, I'm just not getting the vibe anymore that I will be that girl.
Lesson Learned: Really think and rethink giving a customer your phone number when at work.
posted by wonderer @ 1:11 PM
4 comments
